There are two main theories of sex; masturbation and partnered sex. Some propose that people often masturbate within a relationship to enhance their partnered sexual drive. Masturbation might increase and improve partnered sex. Some shared the view that masturbates is a substitute for the unmet sexual desires within a relationship. If you are having sex twice a week with your partner, however, you want more, the need for masturbation arises. The quantity and quality of sex are not the same for every individual.
Masturbations fill in the sex gap among the partners. Men’s sexual need frequency is much more than women’s. Therefore, women masturbate much less than men. Masturbation is a safe and natural way to release the built-up sexual tension. It makes you feel good and you can discover what gets you hot. There are absolutely no downsides of the solo play. It has multiple health benefits and fun.
Partnered Sex and Orgasm
The ultimate goal of both partnered sex and masturbation is to lead to orgasms. Men usually use masturbation to make up for the orgasms they couldn’t have with their partner. Therefore, masturbation has been linked only to orgasms. However, the fact is everyone doesn’t masturbate only for the sake of getting orgasm. Partnered sex and solo sex offer different experiences and often serve different purposes. This fact is truer for women. Just because men link masturbation with orgasm, it has been a popular belief prevailing in the mind of the people.
It has been found that men and women both masturbate at least at some point in time irrespective of how satisfied or dissatisfied they are with their partnered sex life. It may seem as if people masturbate only when they miss their partners, but that is not the case always. There are different needs met a solo sex act and that is what makes people urge for it. When a woman masturbates, her desires to do things with their partners sparks up. It is worth spending some time to ponder about how masturbation fits into your sex life and relation with your partner. Also, you should talk it off with your partner for better understanding.
Few Facts about Female Masturbation
Masturbation is a positive aspect of women’s sex and of course, they do it. It is a healthy option for single women as well as for those who are coupled up. There is nothing bad or to be looked down on self-pleasure.
- It is good – Masturbation increases blood flow throughout your body and good chemicals are released from the brain. The chemicals are called endorphins and oxytocin which relieve stress from your body. According to some doctors, masturbation helps with women’s menstrual cramps. Orgasms lead to better blood flow through the genitals and release you from the cramps and pain.
- It doesn’t have to end with an orgasm – Masturbation is not only about orgasm. It is very much normal to masturbate even if you do not get orgasm. Also, masturbation requires time. When you focus on trying to make it faster or too much on orgasm, you are not able to enjoy it at all. Give yourself some time and go through all of your body parts by touching and trying different positions. Do not take the pressure to climax. Just let it happen while you enjoy the most.
- Usage of sex toys – Half of the women aged 18-60 have used sex toys like the dildo or vibrator at some point in time. The usage of sex toys is quite normal in today’s time. Vibrator helps in stimulating the nerve endings in the clitoris. It will be helpful if you have trouble reaching orgasm and want to climax.
- Experiment having multiple orgasms – There is a surprisingly huge benefit of female masturbation. Females can experience multiple orgasms one after the other. This is a real reward for all your hard work. Once you get the first orgasm, your body returns to normal functioning. Your heart and breathing rate declines, your vagina and breasts come down from their heightened state. At this point, if you want, you can go for another orgasm almost immediately. Depending on how your body works, you may take a short break and get back to the orgasmic horse.
Benefits of Female Masturbation
- Better sex life – Masturbation helps you to be sexually comfortable and confident. It allows you to know your own body better and you get familiar with your desires and needs. When you experiment with what makes you feel good, you are more likely to respond positively to both sexual activities alone and partnered. Even if you do not get an orgasm, it is a stress-free method to see what helps you to climax.
- Eases out post-menopause sex issues – Most of the women find changes in their bodies during menopause. The vaginal tends to narrow down during the period. This makes vaginal intercourse painful. Masturbation prevents the narrowing of the vagina and boosts the blood flow. It is advisable to carry out masturbation with a water-based lubricant. It also eradicates the moisture problems and increases the sexual desire of a woman. Hence, women can enjoy sex with ease even during the menopause period.
- Masturbation is associated with better cognition – Your brain and vagina may seem to be separate entities to you. However, they are connected more than you can imagine. Sexual activity and masturbation are therefore linked with better cognition in aging adults. Experts are still in the process to find out the exact reason for the connection between the two, though some say that the dopamine released during the sexual activity offers a protective benefit for the brain.
- Temporarily strengthens your immune system – Here we want to build up the idea that good sexual health participates in good overall health. Researchers say that five minutes after orgasm, there is an increased level of certain types of lymphocytes in a person. Lymphocytes are white blood cells that help to build up strong immunity. It is also proven that certain components of the immune system activate with sexual arousal and orgasm.
- Masturbation makes you more interested in having sex with your partner – As per studies, researchers explain that once you feed your libido, it desires for more. When you masturbate you are aware of your likes and dislikes and can direct your partner to those specific feelings. The freedom of exploring the sexual likes on your own and then presenting it into your relationship is yet another way of achieving a great sex life together.
Why is talking about female masturbation a taboo?
How often did you hear females discussing their masturbation? Surely, not much. Everyone feels it’s okay to talk about male masturbation and even in the TV shows they have many times depicted scenes of a dude touching his junk. It is good to see that men can discuss their sex life freely without any hesitant. However, a woman should also feel a similar comfort to talk about their desires and pleasure without being judged.
In this patriarchal society, women are viewed mainly through the male gaze. This has an impact on how the women’s body or their sexuality is portrayed and discussed in the media. Male masturbation has already been normalized, however people have various opinions about female masturbation. Almost everyone believes that women shouldn’t pleasure themselves and the one who does are doing it wrong. This thought refrain women from admitting that they do it already. You feel empowered when you can discuss your sexuality openly. The lack of dialogue sometimes leaves a woman feeling clueless. When people of different religions ban masturbation based on religious grounds, it’s the women who suffer from a feeling of intense shame.
How to encourage women to talk about masturbation?
When women would start talking about masturbation, they would be able to share their sexual desires and needs. They would be able to discover their pleasure points and be more sexually satisfied. A woman, whose desires are met and has a pleasant sexual life, can be mentally and physically healthy. Good health helps a woman to be strong and perform her duties perfectly.
- Find a like-minded person – You cannot start a conversation about masturbation with anyone and everyone. You need to find someone, be it your friend or your partner who is interested to talk about this with you and help you in your confusion. The person should be patient enough to hear your mind.
- Gain proper knowledge – Some women are simply under-educated about masturbation. Hence, do not know how to start the conversation. You should learn the basic anatomy of female genitals. Only then you should be able to relate theory with practical and would be able to speak about it openly.
- Don’t be hesitant – If you have to break the taboo, you have to give it a start. Don’t hesitate to take the first step even though it may be tough. The more you talk, the more awareness you would be able to spread and even the young girls will get a lot of information about the hush-hush affair.
Once more women start talking about their sexuality, men would start listening. This will affect women’s sexuality and self-confidence.